Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
