if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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