i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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