Who wears a wallet chain?!
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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