Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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