Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
MIDGETS
????
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
