you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
