two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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