He kissed a someone with a penis
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
