I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
