There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
