You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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