is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
