Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
