just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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