Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
