Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
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