No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
