he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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