What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
