I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I am one with the molecules
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
