There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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