goodnight i made you a song goodbye
People in love make me want to vomit
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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