plz talk dirty to me
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Rumble strips road head = magical
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
