I wish I could teleport
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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