Betty ford says i'm here all night
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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