i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
