im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
