Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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