Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They took my balls.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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