I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
