Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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