He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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