Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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