i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
