took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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