Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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