Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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