I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize
