I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
