Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
