Whod you bang
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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