Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
