Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
