I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
