what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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