so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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