I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
