She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
