I feel like I'm in dance class right now
this just has baby written all over it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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