I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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